It’s not about what we produce but what we’ve accomplished. That’s what we’re left with at the end of the day”
Chris Bailey– as heard in an interview by Claire Diaz-Ortiz– Work By Design Summit
Every morning I put away the clean dishes.
Every day I’m asked: what’s for breakfast? What’s for lunch? What’s for dinner?
Every week I do laundry. Every week there’s more to do. A clean house only lasts long enough to snap a photo, proof that I didn’t dream it: the house was indeed once clean.
The days of my life are set on an endless loop. When I attempt to make an inventory, it just seems pointless. By nightfall, I have not produced much… unless you count dirty dishes, toys littering the floor, and stacks of clean laundry waiting to be folded.
When my kid’s asleep and I stand in the silent house, I sometimes feel deflated and discouraged. “What did I get done?” I ask myself. And the first answer that pops into my mind often is: “Nothing”. But that’s a lie. I may have produced nothing today, at least nothing that the eyes can still see, but I’ve accomplished much. The laundry remained unfolded because there were more important things to do:
Today I fed my daughter good and yummy foods. I gave her what she needed to grow strong and healthy.
Today I sat next to her over breakfast as she practiced counting, reading and handwriting. We learned a new quote. We discovered a new Aesop’s fable. We made a (small) dent into our library stack.
Today I read her books. I brought beautiful words into our home. I welcomed wise, witty, clever authors and let them teach my daughter in prose and verses. I wove their stories into the fabric of her very life. Some will stay with her forever.
Today, we drove to the playground to meet friends. We produced nothing there except for laughter and joy filled beads of sweat. We nurtured relationships. We expressed love.
Today, we hugged and kissed…a lot!
My husband produces martial arts certification courses. They’ve earned him worldwide recognition and gotten him over 5000 “friends” on Facebook. They’ve contributed to him being elected Self Defense instructor of the year in 2015 and being inducted into Black Belt Magazine’s hall of fame. His DVDs and books are real, tangible, permanent. They will still exist tomorrow and ten years from now.
Wanna know a secret? I used to be jealous of this.
Buttering toasts, wiping noses, brushing teeth.
Teaching phonics, skip counting and multiplication.
None of this put ME into any hall of fame. But it did earn me something very special: the honorable title of Mom. And my daughter proclaims that I am “the best mommy in the whole wide world” often enough that I may soon start to believe her.
What I produce on a day to day basis barely ever lasts a few hours. But I get to teach, shape and influence a human being. What I accomplish in raising my daughter is beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
That’s what I’m left with at the end of the day.
At the end of my life I hope to own the secure knowledge that I didn’t shy away from the greatest challenge of my life and that in so doing, I transformed it into my greatest accomplishment: being a good wife and a good mother. Society says it is nothing.
To me it is Everything.
Next week’s essay is titled “To dump or not to dump, that is the question”. Subscribe using the widget below and it will be waiting in your inbox when it’s published.
You are the first inductee to my Hall Of Fame!