Essay 56: The one where I tell you what a good mother I am

I’ve written extensively about my shortcomings as a mother so today I would like to focus on my strengths.
It seems like we all have an easy time beating ourselves up for all that we do wrong but it is important to also recognize all that we do right. Only when we reconcile the multiple facets of our personality can we truly paint an accurate picture of who we are.
Don’t the parenting gurus prescribe that we should praise more often than we criticize? How can we do that well with our children if we can’t extend the same kindness towards ourselves?

Will you indulge me and allow me to toot my own horn?

Here it goes:

I am good at housekeeping.
I do believe that a clean and clutter free house is soothing to the spirit. It creates a peaceful environment more conducive to creativity. It’s also plain practical to know what you have and where it is stored. I “Marie Kondo-ized” our house a couple of years ago and we adhere wholeheartedly to the “Spark Joy” philosophy.
I must admit that I used to take it too far. My need for tidiness has, on occasion, caused more stress than relief but I made an effort to tame the control freak within and I believe that we have now achieved a nice balance.
My sink is clean every night; my closet floor visible. My daughter makes her bed (and sometimes mine), folds her clothes and tidies her room every day.
I get points for that.

I am good at cooking.
I cook healthy food that is also tasty (so say the people who eat at my table). I juice fresh vegetables and fruits regularly. We eat sweets very sparingly. My daughter is well educated in matters of nutrition. I have taught her that food’s primary purpose is to nourish and fuel our bodies. Good taste is a bonus. I have been so intentional with what I put on her plate, she happens to believe that vegetables are yummy. An orange-beet-red bell pepper juice is a treat. She’s never had boxed juice. She’s never had candy. She knows to ask about high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated fat when she is at a friend’s house. She loves Thai, Indian, Chinese and even Ethiopian cuisines. She eats only when hungry and will leave even half a cookie on her plate if her tummy is full.
My daughter eats a balanced diet. She is healthy and strong.
I get points for that.
(Let me clarify that we never talk about calories, or restrictive diets. We focus on the right ingredients for optimal health).

I am good at talking.
We have talked about sperm and eggs; she’s seen pictures and videos of women birthing. She knows that, like mommy, she’ll have her period some day and that will mean her body is ready to make a baby. However, it will not mean that SHE is ready to be a mother.
We have talked about infatuation, the power of hormones and the necessity to use one’s brains to make decisions. We have talked about the difference between boys and men and the importance of choosing the latter as a husband. We have talked about drugs and what kind of havoc they can rage onto one’s life. We have discussed what to do WHEN (not if) she is offered to try some.
We have talked about the power of affirmations, the blessings of gratitude, the magic of love.
My daughter knows that she can ask me any questions.
I get points for that.

I am good at taking her to the library and setting up playdates. I am good at reading aloud. I am good at modeling lifelong learning. I am good at cuddling and kissing. I am good at saying I love you.

I don’t know about you but I sure feel great right now! Pep talks are so good for the soul. I encourage you to take the time to make your own list of what YOU are good at. (Feel free to share in the comments section below.) I will keep mine handy; a reminder that, though I’ll never be good at everything, I am good at many things…
…and I get points for that!

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