The older I get, the faster time goes, or so it seems. Another year is over. I’m one of those people who sets goals in preparation for a new year but before I plan for the future, I like to reflect on the past.
Christmas, my favorite time of year with spirits high and moods jolly, afforded me quiet moments to look back and take stock of my life.
2019 was a very important year for me. I sunk to my lowest point with symptoms of depression and anxiety that started to severely upset my day to day life. On really bad days, it took all of my mental discipline to fight away the despair and resist the devilish attraction of quitting life altogether. That’s when the surviving scraps of my healthy self rang the alarm bells and insisted I seek a radical solution. That’s when I finally agreed to give medication a chance.
By so doing, I gave myself a chance. Whatever had been amiss inside my body, a little blue pill (Zoloft) regulated in a matter of days. I soared to a high I didn’t even know existed. It’s wonderful up here.
I am enjoying life like never before. A pretty good place to be at 43.
What went wrong this year?
A mental health crisis that almost destroyed me.
What went well?
- Finding the remedy to the health crisis.
- Business.
- Family life.
- Fitness.
What did I accomplish?
- I mothered my child effectively.
- I homeschooled.
- I managed our business.
- I wrote 15 essays.
- I assisted my husband in his new instructional course, BJJ For The Street shot by BJJFanatics.com.
- I helped demonstrate a few techniques for his next book, BJJ For The Street. We shot the photos at Century Martial Arts in Oklahoma city, Oklahoma. Just visiting the family run operation that started in a garage and has now grown to miles and miles of warehouses was a treat and an eye opener to what can be achieved with dedication and work ethic.
What did I learn?
- I learned that taking medication for mental health issues is no different from taking it for a migraine or an infection. It doesn’t have to be scary.
- I grew as a homeschooling mom after attending The Brave Learner Conference in Cincinnati, Ohio.
- I learned that laughing feels really good. The sensation still surprises me at times.
- I learned that I enjoy high intensity exercise. (I’m referring to you Yoga Sculpt!)
- I learned that not eating chocolate and whipped cream at night is easy when I feel good.
- I learned that I can last through a 2-hour youth triathlon practice (my daughter’s new activity) and I now ride my bike all over our beach town.
- I learned that I can still take decent photos with my SLR camera after photographing my friend’s family.
- I learned that life can be enjoyed. Indeed, I learned that life IS joy!
Where did I go?
- Traveling was awesome this year.
- We visited a few new to us places: Vancouver, Canada; Boston, Massachussets.
- We also flew to familiar places: Jacksonville, Florida; Long Beach, California, Japan.
Who did I become?
- I became someone who wakes up happy and goes to sleep happy, someone willing to try new things, someone who can ignore the dirty dishes and go to bed because she now understands that sleep is sometimes more important than a clean sink, someone who no longer feels the intense anger that brought her to tear, made her hang up the phone or argue with sales reps.
- I became the person I had always wanted to be: patient, calm, energetic, funny, courageous, assertive and proactive.
- I became a better wife, a better mother, a better me.
Time goes by whether we want it to or not. We are propelled forward at ever increasing speeds. We are urged to live in the present and to forget the past, yet reflecting on the past to learn from it can be a powerful and fruitful exercise. I highly recommend it.
Next week, my focus will turn to the future as I share my goals and resolutions for 2020. Thank you for reading. Please share about your 2019 in the comments below.
You continue to inspire me with every essay! I look forward to hearing your New Years’ Resolutions! My 2019 was significantly better because of your helpful conversation in April; I cut back on my excessive cooking, started getting out with other moms/babies, and started listening to Better Than Happy (finished all her episodes!) and then 3 in 30 podcasts, as you recommended. That was a dramatic turning point for my life as a mom. My son had changed and gotten easier to care for; I just needed to change and catch up! We are super involved with other moms and activities now, I was able to continue to simplify my cooking even more as time went on, and I still love those podcasts (Gretchen Rubin’s Happier is also in the mix now). Thank YOU for making my 2019 SO much better. Truly life changing feedback from you.
I am so happy for you and gratified that I was able to help. You reached out and then actually took the advice to heart. Few people do. Good for you!
Your comments certainly often give me a boost. Thank you!
Awwwww, thank-you! And I’m happy to hear the latter, too! You’re very welcome!!!!
What a ride it was. Here’s to more love and adventure in 2020!!!!