I’ve spent the past two weeks engrossed in reading Gone with the Wind. I watched the movie again a couple of months ago and decided it was high time I knew Scarlett better.
Only a few chapters remain and I’ve put the book down, reluctant to get to the bitter end, wondering how close to the movie version it will be.
Scarlett O’hara and Rhett Butler could have lived a beautiful love story. They had everything. Beauty, wealth, status… They were perfectly matched and they loved each other…except they didn’t admit it until it was too late.
They could have been happy together. Instead they caused their own misery. My heart aches at such waste.
Scarlett and Rhett are merely fictional characters but how many real people are doing the very same?
Time and again, I look around me and witness perfectly nice men and women destroy perfectly good relationships because of ego and pride. They spend valuable time and energy building up the walls around them instead of breaking them down. They want to be known yet are too afraid to reveal their true selves.
As I look back on 20 years of marriage, I see that the key to our happiness was that, very early on, we chose to put Love above Pride.
We stopped playing games a long time ago. Pretending is exhausting and not conducive to intimacy. Being vulnerable is the only option.
I chose to spend a lifetime with this man and I wanted a lifetime of happy not turmoil so…
I stopped pointing the finger and examined myself.
I stopped looking at his faults and worked on my own.
I stopped valuing independence and cherished that we depended on one another.
I stopped expecting him to read my mind and laid my soul bare.
I stopped resenting not getting what I hadn’t asked for: I asked and said Thank You when he gave.
If you look at your partner and see an enemy, something’s very wrong.
If he’s stopped being your solace, your source of comfort, your haven, something’s wrong.
But it can be made right again…
If you are willing to look past your own hurt and decide to focus on healing his wounds.
If you are willing to give more than you demand.
If you’ll remember the promises made on your wedding day; the hope you felt standing at the altar.
If you can shine the light on the good…
There is hope.
My husband is not perfect. Neither am I. But we’ve diligently tended to our relationship.
Love does not grow in mud.
Weeds, left unattended, will suffocate even the strongest of roots.
Few flowers survive when constantly trampled on.
Please tread lightly in the inner gardens of your spouse’s heart.
Be gentle. Be kind. Be honest.
Be an ally.
Kick Pride to the curb and give Love a fighting chance.
Do give a damn!
Don’t let it all be gone with the wind.
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