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Essay 152: Life Advice from BJJ World-Champion Marcelo Garcia

Meet Marcelo Garcia, 4th degree Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt, 5-time World Jiu-Jitsu Champion, 4-time ADCC Submission Fighting World Champion, member of the IBJJF Hall of Fame, the third BJJ athlete to be inducted into the ADCC Hall of Fame, and the best pound for pound submission grappler EVER! He’s also our dear friend. Last night, after a 13-year hiatus spent focusing on raising his children and two years fighting for his life against cancer, Marcelo lived up to his reputation and submitted Japanese leglock-phenom Masakazu Imanari with his signature north-south choke. 

I had not planned on watching the event live since One Championship 170 was airing in the wee hours of the morning Hawaii time, but I happened to stir at 2.18 am, less than half hour before Marcelo was scheduled to step into the cage at the Impact Arena in Bangkok so I tiptoed downstairs to watch the live stream on OneFC’s Youtube Channel. Alone in our guest bedroom, remote in hand, and fully awake, I excitedly cheered Marcelo on, whooping and hollering my support across the Pacific Ocean, the South China Sea and 17 time zones. 

Marcelo’s flawless performance was impressive but his post-fight advice is what struck me to the core. To commentator Mitch Chilson’s question: “…What got you through those hard, dark times [stomach cancer]?” Marcelo answered poignantly:

“Guys, let me just share one thing. If you have a problem, you gotta share your problem. You gotta let people know you have a problem. And I did this. And I got so much love. I got so much love from everybody that’s around me. So if you have a problem, let people know what’s going on. Because that’s the only way you can get help… And that’s what I did. I got so much love. A lot of people asked me: ‘Why did you tell everybody?’ Because If I hadn’t told everybody [that I had cancer] then nobody would know who I am. I was somebody who was going through that so people needed to know I was going through that. And I got so much love. Just share your problems. People need to know. People that love you are going to be next to you no matter what and they’re going to be the first ones to help. So share your problem if you have a problem.”

Whoa! Insert mind blown emoji and a dozen red hearts!
🤯 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Marcelo Garcia, the out-of-this-world athlete is an inspiration to millions on the mat. But yesterday, it’s Marcelo the man who beat cancer, Marcelo the father who buried his baby boy Joey, Marcelo the devoted dad to his two living children, Marcelo the loving husband to Tatiana, Marcelo the down-to-earth humble human who taught martial artists and non martial artists alike the most important lesson of all. 
Don’t hide your pain. 
Be strong by being vulnerable. 
Be kind by accepting help.
Be loving by allowing others to love you.
Suffering may be inevitable, but we need not suffer quietly, or alone. 

The positive psychology movement of the last decades has sold us on the idea that happiness, optimism, and gratitude are choices. American culture loathes complainers and crybabies so we have learned to keep our mouths shut and it’s become downright difficult to be honest about pain. The idea that we can choose our attitude and our focus might be true for most of us, most of the time, but it doesn’t apply if, like me, you suffer from chemical depression. When your brain does not produce enough serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, regulating your mood goes beyond sheer will. We don’t treat cancer by just “dealing with it” or thinking happy thoughts. We don’t set a broken arm by “waiting it out” or “manning up”. There is no shame associated with undergoing chemotherapy or getting a cast. Likewise, mental illness is NOT a character issue. You can’t just “snap out of it”. Depressed people are not crazy, spineless, or weak. A broken spirit is as real as a broken bone. Our cuts and bruises lie beneath our skin. We bleed on the inside. Depression is invisible but nonetheless REAL. Just like cancer, it can be treated. Just like cancer, it can kill…Slowly, solitarily, silently. If you are hurting, please listen to Marcelo and tell somebody. 

Our friend and renowned MMA coach Robert Follis didn’t tell anybody and took his life on 12/15/2017 at age 48. (That’s how old I am right now!)
Victoria Lee, MMA champion Angela Lee’s sister, didn’t tell anybody and took her life on 12/26/2022 at age 18. 
My beloved cousin didn’t tell anybody and took his life on 12/02/2024 at age 45. 
I know I might not be alive today if I hadn’t shared my struggles with my friends and family. 
I got help. 
I got love. 
“I got so much love”!

Please speak up and seek help. There are treatments.
It may not feel like it but, trust me, so many people love you.
Please live!
For them…
For you!


Suicide Prevention Hot line: dial 988
Angela Lee’s foundation: FightStory

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