real, raw motherhood
My husband and I own and operate a martial arts business together: he creates programs and teaches; I’m in charge of management. My office is a room in our home. No commute and flexible hours: it’s a good deal. When our daughter was born, I knew that I wanted to be home to raise her.…
Last Wednesday, I started my Mommy day off with a wonderful yoga class. Afterwards I hopped in the car to grab lunch. I was stopped at a red light when I heard a loud crashing noise. Looking in my rearview mirror, I saw a girl and her moped trapped under a van. She was on…
I’m at the mall, staring at my phone’s screen and all I want to do is lay my head on the table, close my eyes and rest for a while. I waited too long to have breakfast. It was a close call but a few bites of croissant averted the meltdown. (I also bought a…
She’s dead. The woman who birthed me and raised me but couldn’t love me. The woman who should have been my safe place but wasn’t; who should have been my refuge but will never ever be. She’s dead. The woman who was my world when I was a child but couldn’t make space for me…
I will be 41 next week. Some people dread getting older. I don’t. I’ve been blessed with another year of living; breathing; feeling; loving. I don’t begrudge the deeper lines on my forehead nor the multiplying gray strands that stand out in my dark hair because the alternative is really not that appealing, wouldn’t you…
I’ve written extensively about my shortcomings as a mother so today I would like to focus on my strengths. It seems like we all have an easy time beating ourselves up for all that we do wrong but it is important to also recognize all that we do right. Only when we reconcile the multiple…
I am celebrating the one year anniversary of my blog. I have published one new essay every week for a year. No small feat. In some ways, writing has become easier and yet it’s still hard. It is a weekly exercise in manifesting a personal yearning, overcoming procrastination and defeating perfectionism. It is is a…
There are things we want yet we’re not always willing to do what it takes to get them. That’s why Olympic athletes amaze us. That’s why self made millionaires awe us. Very successful people consistently do what it takes to get what they want. Natural talent, circumstances, resources all come into play but they do…
I have been contemplating committing to a worry free life. Lofty wouldn’t you say? But imagine. Imagine the Freedom. Imagine the Joy. Imagine the Peace that would bring me. I am a person with a natural bend towards anxiety. Is it hormonal? Is it a result of my upbringing? I don’t know. I wake up…
Good thing I wrote about procrastinating not too long ago because I am smack dab in the throes of it. Today’s my day to write. It’s 4 pm and I’m just starting. I usually write earlier during my daughter’s Capoeira class but this morning she had an “issue” that required we leave before she even…