real, raw motherhood
I pushed for four and half hours before I could hold her in my arms and yet my labor didn’t stop then. The real work had only begun. Mothering is hard work. Daily work. Patient work. Challenging work. Rewarding work. A child and a mother were born on the same day in that hospital room…
So you’re having a baby. We’ve all seen it in the movies: a tiny swaddled bundle sleeps peacefully in his crib; mom is standing by the door smiling, her husband’s arms wrapped around her shoulders as they steal a quick glance at the miracle they created together before they peacefully head to bed to make…
It’s official. I am not her hero any more. I thought I would have had more time. But seven years is all I got. Halloween was last night. For the past three years, we’ve gone to the same neighborhood a few minutes drive from our house. Before sunset, everyone costumed gathers for an informal parade…
This essay was written a few days after I wrote the previous one I published. It explains the why of it and how I was able to change my frame of mind. It must first be understood how I came to feel the way I felt in the dark hours of that hot summer morning.…
To read the backstory about the circumstances in which I wrote this essay (3 am on a particularly challenging parenting day), please head here. For the sake of transparency and “artistic honesty”, I decided to publish this essay knowing that I will probably be judged for its content. This is for all the moms who…
It’s been a rough morning. One of those mornings, when my daughter decides that she doesn’t want to do what I ask her to do (in this case, read a page from her early reader) and I have no patience to deal with it. One of those mornings when everything gets mixed up in my…
She’s dead. The woman who birthed me and raised me but couldn’t love me. The woman who should have been my safe place but wasn’t; who should have been my refuge but will never ever be. She’s dead. The woman who was my world when I was a child but couldn’t make space for me…
I’ve written extensively about my shortcomings as a mother so today I would like to focus on my strengths. It seems like we all have an easy time beating ourselves up for all that we do wrong but it is important to also recognize all that we do right. Only when we reconcile the multiple…
I’m watching my daughter’s Capoeira teacher help the kids do back flips. There is not one child who is hesitant. Every single one of them trusts, respects and admires him so much that they either have no fear or are willing to push through it . They know he’s got their backs (literally). They know…
As my friend drove us home from the grocery store, I wondered aloud: “Why oh why must motherhood be so hard?” And she replied: “It’s hard only because you care.” Being a perfect mother is impossible. Being a great mother is a tall order. Being a good mother is challenging. Challenged I am every day…