real, raw motherhood
The nurse congratulated me and laid a sweet baby girl into my arms. I gazed into those big blue eyes filled with the most wonderful kind of love. This helpless beautiful little creature depended on me for everything and she wasn’t doubting that she would get everything. Looking into her face was like looking into…
She is six years old now. Just like that. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink Blink Blink. Six years gone by. Each year better than the previous. Each year witnessing her growing up and me growing. I am not the mother I was six years ago. Thank goodness! I always had good intentions but my actions didn’t…
A new week! Reset! Here’s another chance to be who I want to be, do what I want to do. Do what I ought to do. Exercise. Eat healthy. Do Laundry. Read aloud. Clean. Cook. Nap. Go to the library. Work. Play. That’s life. The mundane, the sacred and all that’s in-between. You’ve got to…
Tonight, I did laundry. I grabbed my headphones and listened to my current favorite: the soundtrack to The Last of the Mohicans. The music moves me, just as the movie did. As I smoothed the wrinkles away from my husband’s shirts, just out of the dryer, their warmth spoke to me. I was struck by…
Hi. My name is Sarah and I am a recovering perfectionist. Striving to always be and do your best may sound like a good thing but perfectionism is crippling and exhausting. Life’s harder when you’re pulling a ball and chain. Lately I have been very intentional about letting go of perfection and celebrating progress instead.…
“I, Sarah, take you, Burton, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” The priest standing before us had such a thick Irish accent I had to fully concentrate as…
When I said “I do”I had the naive dreams, hopes and expectations of a girl who’d just left her teenage years behind. Never did it cross that girl’s mind that, one day, she’d see you throw up green vomit or that she would- gladly- wipe up poop sprays as you two would struggle together to…
I am dropped off at the hotel and wheel my pink carry-on up the escalator to the front desk, heart beating like I was on my way to a hot date. In a sense, I am. My 24 hours alone start now. An exciting date with myself. The pressure wells up inside. I want to…
One more week to the big 4.0. I am grateful to have yet another birthday to celebrate. I am so proud of who I am right now at 39. From where I stand, 40 looks great. Never in a million years would 20 year old me have imagined this version of herself. I am not…
Today is Monday. A new week. I feel so much anxiety. It’s deep in my gut and up in my chest. It makes my breaths shallow and my heart pound. I wish that feeling would just disappear from my life. If only I could trust deep inside me that there is nothing to worry about.…