Essay 123: 2020 Goals

Here it is. 2020. A new year. A new decade.
To say I am excited is an understatement. For the first time of my adult life, I feel healthy, vibrant, full of energy, happy.

It’s as if I’m living someone else’s life. In a sense, I am: in so many ways, I have become someone else.
Who is this person who rides her bike all over town?
Who is this person who tags along her daughter’s triathlon practice every Sunday? (That she even agreed to add triathlon practice to the schedule is a surprise.)
Who is this person who remains calm and steady even when dealing with unhelpful customer service reps. (Pointing the finger at you Hallmark employees!)

This person feels foreign and new and… I’m falling in love with her. To finally be who I’ve always wanted to be is no small achievement: it’s grand!

I hunger for life in a way I have never and eagerly went about setting my goals and resolutions this past week.

PERSONAL GROWTH

This year, I am focusing on growing my self confidence. Rationally, I know that I am an intelligent, capable and resourceful woman. Emotionally, I still often process the world as the wounded child my mother didn’t love.

I no longer feel anxiety physically (thank you Zoloft), yet I still must work on resetting the automatic reactions and internal language of the anxious person I was for decades. It’s easier for me to work on remedying what I am doing wrong than it is to acknowledge what I am doing right so I devised a plan to acquire a much deserved sense of pride.

1: Use the power of positive affirmations to revise my internal dialog.
2: Talk with my therapist about my lack of assurance and get her input on solutions.
3: Keep doing things that scare me.
4: Take a moment before bed to review my day and spot light at least one thing I did well.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

I lost 10 lbs in 2019. I am fittest than I have ever been. A few months ago, I stumbled into the “wrong” class at my yoga studio and realized how weak I was. I could barely do 2 push ups from my knees. I made a point to go back to that class often and I have grown stronger and more flexible.

I feel young and beautiful and I want to hold on to that feeling.

Exercising has truly become fun and is easy for me to prioritize.
Eating healthy is already a habit.
Emotional snacking is no longer an issue since taking Zoloft. Yay.

This year, my goal is to maintain my current weight and increase my strength and flexibility.

Martial arts training is making the top of my list as I’m working on a big project (I will write about it after it’s completed.) and I will soon be teaching women’s self defense workshops locally.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE

My husband and I are committing to scheduling two dates/month.
We will also read and study together. We are starting with the Charlotte Mason’s Home Education Series for reading and Jody Moore’s Coaching Program for studying.

We have scheduled weekly family days to go explore our beautiful island and we are reinstating movie night Sundays.

We also discussed parenting, finances and friendships. I even spent a few moments curating my booklist and have resolved to resume a more disciplined approach to my writing pursuits. This year, I will publish one essay a week here on this blog and dedicate 10 minutes/day to create the book I know is already inside me.

For some, such detailed goal setting plans seem preposterous. For us, the exercise is grounding and inspiring. In the two decades of our marriage, we’ve accomplished more and become better people because of it. Time well spent, I daresay.

Do you set goals and resolutions? Let me know in the comments below.